Tuesday, December 4, 2007

It's Been 7 Years...

Actually if you want to be exact, it's been 7 years, 5 months, & 8 days. Since what you ask? Since I have been to the bathroom by myself! Oh yes...that was my thought today when my children, who had been playing quietly in their rooms for an hour, suddently needed me as I sat on the toilet. I sat there and calculated it. 7 years, 5 months, and 8 days. That is 2,715 days with someone either watching or talking to me whilst I do my thing. I figure I use the bathroom at least 5 times a day...so 2,725 x 5....well that makes 13,575 that I have had no peace while peeing, no privacy while pooping. Granted they have outgrown the age of being in there with me. But you'd better believe, someone is knocking on the door, yelling for Mom, or crying because "I didn't know where you were!".
Is it comforting for them to hear me pee? Does it remind them of being in the womb?
The sad fact remains...I'm not half way through. My youngest is only 5 1/2. So I still have 12 1/2 years of this to go. That is 4,565 days more. That is 22,825 more trips to the bathroom with interruption.
Maybe if I just start sitting in my chair and peeing on myself noone would bother me!

15 comments:

Marsha said...

I came over here FULLY expecting to see a picture of Lana and Missy's gingerbread house they made on Monday. Instead I find myself wondering why I ever rescued that little abandoned infant I heard crying in an outhouse 32 years ago. Yes, we found her wrapped in toilet paper in an old abandoned outhouse in the woods. I DID NOT give birth to this child!

Marsha said...

PS - I see everyone's been invited to a Cookie Swap. Could I interest anyone in a child swap?

Stace' said...

I laughed out loud!!!

Thanks!! I needed that!

Kim said...

I don't think peeing on yourself is the answer. DON'T DO IT! Felix has learned how to open doors and likes to do so when I poo. Thanks.

heather said...

Poor baby I know how you feel the same rule applies to when you are on the phone mine always freak out and attack each other when the phone rings.

Rachel Garcia said...

okay.. im laughing hysterically..but not why you think.. here I thought that you needed "medicinal" help going to the bathroom (i.e laxatives. enimas, etc) and thats why today was the first time you went to the bathroom "by yourself."

Boy was I glad to read differently. And I think can I just say that you did a great job of embarrasing your mom. lol! Im sure that wasn't your main goal.. probably just number 2 on the list....NO PUN INTENDED! haha (im funny in my own head).

michelle said...

DO IT MISSY!!! PEE ON YOUSELF!!! DO NOT LISTEN TO KIM!!! please :)

Anyway, I think this is good. I mean now when the kids are grown and moved out you will be grateful for something you never would have normally been. You can sing praises while peeing in peace and pooping in private.

Kim said...

when the kids get a little older (mine are 8 and 15), a fun revenge is to stand outside the door and talk to them while they do their business. it TOTALLY freaks them out!! so much fun. am i mean or what?! just one of the many ways that i torment my kids.

does your hubby also interrupt your "private" time? sometimes it seems like scott's there as much as the kids. sort of annoying. i love talking to him, but COME ON! a little space is nice.

kim p

Virginia said...

I love the look of exasperation when Em knocks on the door, while Shaun's pooping, to go potty. It makes me laugh. I just feel a tiny bit justified. ;)

Missy said...

I knew Michelle would be the one to tell me to do it! I just may!!!
I don't know why my mother is so embarressed by me...like she is the queen of cooth! Good grief!

Kim P...my husband is very private about poop time... Pee time however is open season!

And oh yes, there is triumph when the children bother dad! Ah sweet triumph!

michelle said...

HA!!! I just read your mom's comment. That's funny. We used to tell my sister that we found her under a cow patty. I would tell a long detailed story about it and how surprised I was when I turned that cow patty over and found such a beautiful baby girl.

Marsha, you did a good thing. Imagine if she was left in that outhouse much longer...she would be even more obsessed with poop and pee...like me. Hey! Was there another little baby in there?

Marsha said...

I'm old school...I don't post about bodily functions such as liquid and solid. I'm more selective. I merely come out of bathrooms with TP stuck to my shoe or worse yet, to the back of my pants and I don't know it.

I'm STILL waiting for the gingerbread house post! No, don't tell me, it's not actually a house it's an outhouse.

alli said...

Ya know - you'd think I was havin' some sort of party in the bathroom er something. I mean, seriously. What's the deal? I mean, I feel like shoutin' "there's no confetti or lollipops in here, kids!" And, it's not like my room where I choose to rest is big. It's one of those tiny bathrooms. Like, you can really only fit 3 folks in there and 1 must be sitting down. The other 2 must be short and tiny.

I don't mind your momma reading this, but I really really really hope mine doesn't find this comment. She'd totally high five your momma on the child swap.

Have you had days where you just wanna give up and leave the door open? Why bother shutting the door when I know they hardly ever remember to knock. My stars. 5 and 3 year old chap my hide.

i always always leave long comments on your blog. sorry.

I really love my kiddos. And, it only sometimes drives me bonkers. yup. Just sometimes.

Dollar General said...

This is so funny. Now you know you've spent some quality time with your kids!

Missy said...

Alli, you can leave long comments on my blog anytime girl! You should blog more often. I need some Allie fodder :)