It touched Me

Several weeks ago was our VBS.

I love VBS and I love directing it.

It is a lot of work, but I believe in the ministry and I believe in the fruits that God grants from the ministry.

VBS is a lot of work. A LOT!

One of the things that takes up my energy during that week is doing the opening and closing time every night.

The opening introduces the truths for the day and sets the tone for the rest of the night, and the closing is supposed to wrap up all the truths learned from the day.

On the 2nd night of VBS, I got in the car with my family after it was all done and was feeling very frustrated. The closing time wasn't going how I thought it should. With being outside under a tent, and close quarters, I was feeling the chaos. I was feeling like I had no control over the closing time, and that it wasn't serving its purpose....to wrap up all the truths learned from the day. To close the day in songs of worship.

So on the drive home that night I complained to my husband. I complained that I wasn't doing something right. That I didn't have control over the closing, and that I was frustrated with myself.

And then God like He does so many times in my life, used one of my kids to touch me.

We got home, got showered, and got settled, and Logan came to me wanting to talk and showing so much sincerity and concern that I wasn't sure what was going on.

He then proceeded to tell me what a great time he was having at VBS and how he loved to learn more about God in that setting.

He told me he couldn't believe that I was frustrated at the way things were going because he thought it was going really well.

He told me "I was really surprised to hear on the way home that you were frustrated because you would never be able to tell that when you are up there talking to all us kids."

It made my heart happy to hear all these things.

But then.....

He told me, "It amazes me how God made you. God gave you a gift for VBS. I love how God made you because you are amazing to me."

It was one of those parenting moments that gets etched into your brain. I love how God uses my kids to show me His love for me. I love to see the way the He is working in my kids and how He uses me as a Mother to show His love to them.

Needless to say, I chilled out about the closing for the next 3 nights.

And you know what? I think the last 3 nights went much better.

No Appropriate Title

There are no real words to convey all that is going on inside this brain of mine these days.

I cannot give an appropriate title to this post because none of what we have witnessed in these past few weeks has been appropriate.

The trials of the past 4 weeks have been nothing but the results of us living in this sinful and fallen world that we live in.

We have seen the depravity of man display itself in the most tragic of deaths. We have seen "Mother Nature" unleash its tole resulting in unimaginable destruction.

As I sit and try to process the events of the past few weeks, I am sometimes speechless.

I sometimes have a lot to say, but don't have the guts to say it.

Other times I cry for the lives that have been touched and forever changed.

But mostly I think about how it all fits.

What is God trying to teach me?

Why has He in His infinite wisdom allowed this past month to be filled with so much turmoil? Why did He bring people into our lives for such a short time only to be heartbroken by their choices?

Why why and more why?

In the broad sense I know the answer. For HIS glory.

But in the general sense, I have to process through how it is gloryfying to Him for a 3 year old to be beaten to death and a grown man to take his own life?

I can look at little pieces and see His mercies, but seeing the bigger picture is where none of it makes sense.

I am a firm believer in God's sovereignty. I believe that He is in control over every circumstance. I believe that all things work together for those who are called according to His purpose.

I believe these things and count them to be true...

But I still have a lot to process.

What will she be?

This picture was taken back in December when we were in Charlotte, NC.

Lana, who is named in part, after my Grandmother Margaret, wanted to go visit her grave and take flowers as well.

It was a sweet memory.

After taking some time to find the actual grave, we found that my Grandmothers was surrounded by graves with flowers while hers had none. This touched my girl. We lifted the vase and placed the flowers in it. Then we just stood there and talked. She wanted to know about the funeral (Grandmother died when I was 11 and it was also in December). She wanted to know if Grandmother would like her. She was curious about how later Paw-Paw will be buried in the same place. Lots of questions, but so sweetly asked.

I love that it is important to her that her middle name is Margaret. Even though she never met her, it seems that she feels some sort of kinship with her having shared the name.

I love that is was important to her to go and see where she is buried and to take flowers there to be sure she had some.

I love that us doing that was the most important thing on her agenda for that trip. I had to promise and then reassure that promise repeatedly.

3 months later, today, we went and visited another grave. This was the grave of her friend Ms. Eloise.

Ms. Eloise was 88 years old and died last July.

In December Lana had some Christmas money and used it to buy flowers for her grave.

We finally were able to go today and because we were able to go, it makes me wonder....

What will my sweet Lana be when she grows up?

I am amazed at the sensitivity that my 8 year old has towards elderly people and death.

Lana loved Ms. Eloise. She was a sweet little lady that had Alzheimer's, and loved the kids of our church with all her heart. She always had a quarter for Lana. Her sweet husband always made sure she had quarters to give out. Lana didn't love Ms. Eloise because she gave her quarters. She never kept them anyway, but put them in the offering plate.

Lana just loved Ms. Eloise. There was a connection she felt to her...one that I did not realize the depth of, until today.

We spent lots of time today by Ms. Eloise's grave today talking about God, and death, and Heaven.

It was another of those awesome opportunities that God gives us to speak the Gospel to our children.

We then spent some time picking up flowers around the other graves and carefully putting them back into vases. It bothers Lana that flowers have fallen out and nobody has picked them up.

It bothers her that there are too many graves that don't have flowers and that they need to mow the grass.

She was careful to walk around the graves and not step on the places where they are buried because that is somebodies loved one.

She is sensitive to death. She is sensitive to those that death leaves behind.

What will she be someday?

Will she be a person that goes to random graves and pulls the weeds and leaves flowers instead?

Will she go to nursing homes and sit and have tea parties with little old ladies?

Will she work at a funeral home and comfort people in their hour of need?

After we picked up all the flowers, Lana asked if we could go back and spend more time with Ms. Eloise.

She then sat by her grave with one lone tear drop on her face and asked if she could have a few minutes alone.

It was the most touching thing you could see an 8 year old do.

I will never forget that moment.

Whatever Ms. Eloise's role in Lana's life was while she was alive, her role in her death has had a profound impact on me as a Mother. I have seen a love and sensitivity that I did not know an 8 year old was capable of. I have also been given one more opportunity to talk to my daughter about the great mysteries of Godliness. About life, death and God's glory in it all.

What will she be someday?

I don't know the answer to that question, but by God's Grace I know she will be something beautiful for Him.

Repurposing

I have been a bad bad blogger. A wayward documenter. A slacker of monumental proportions.

Really, if we want to be honest....a chicken. Bwack bwack. ( I don't know how you really spell a chicken noise, but I think bwack bwack should be close.)

The reason for my blogging slackness boils down to 2 issues.

1. Comparing myself to other blogs that highlight all the wonderful things they make, create, and show us all, and feeling HIGHLY inferior.

2. Feeling like my blog was too random and I needed to reel it in and focus on something.

Bwack bwack bwack.

I'm done with these issues now and have decided to move onward.

I have decided that I don't care if anyone reads my blog, follows my blog, thinks my blog is worthwhile, or even judges my blog for lack of beautiful pictures.

I enjoy reading back on my blog and remembering the things I have documented here.

My kids are growing and doing new and fun things. They say funny and random and serious things. These are things I need to document and remember.

My faith grows. My thought processes go up and down. My desires change. My goals come and go.

These are all things I need to document and challenge myself with.

We are soon to start a new school year and I am going to succeed on some things and fail tremendously at others.

These are all things I need to document and learn from.

My sister and her family are stateside for only 8 more months. I have 4 beautiful nieces and an amazing sister that I don't get to spend enough time with, but the time I do get with them, I need to document and remember on those lonely days when they leave me again.

So here we have it. Plates a Spinning...the re purposed edition.

Its going to be random. Its going to be funny. Its going to be serious. Its going to be down right confusing at times. There may or may not be pictures. But by golly, I am going to be a blogger again.

Read it or don't read it. All I know is that I need to do this. For me.

Money and the Gospel

I love it when I've been thinking about things, and then I see a clip of someone waaaayyy smarter than me, actually articulate through the scriptures, what it is that I've been thinking.
(This is a clip of John Piper entitiled "Wealth is almost always a curse, not a blessing", and whether you "like" JP or not, he is passionate about this filth we call the "Prosperity Gospel")

Money, Money, Money. I hate money. Really I do. It probablly has to do with the fact that it is yet another area in which you have to have discipline. And discipline with money is much more nebulous than discipline in other areas, cause we "need" stuff. Now granted, we are in a place of life right now that we don't have any money. We don't have any "wealth" stored up anywhere.
I am not complaining. We have a house, we have a car, we have food for the week and money for next weeks food. We have clothes on our back, in our drawers, and quite frankly, on our floors, and in our washer and dryer. We have a computer, and a TV, and internet access, a couple of CD players, some MP3 players, and dvd player or 2.
There is nothing wrong with these things, I don't think. I like my computer and my internet access. I like being able to keep up with people this way. I like being able to talk to my sister 8000 miles away, and let the kids Skype with their grandparents whenever they want to.
These are not bad things. These things honestly make me thankful for God's provision, but I still have to be a good steward of them.

The problem as I see it, is that the more we have, the more we want, or "need".
Where is the line? At what point do we fall into bad stewardship?
I always think that if I could just fall into a large sum of money, then I could do so much for other people. I sincerely mean that. But would I actually do it? Would my "needs" out way my goodwill? How would I decide what causes are worthy? Would I just give up and keep it all to myself?

If we came into a large sum of money I think I would like to sell the house we live in, and buy a house with some conveniences we don't have now. Why? Really, there is nothing wrong with my house. I mean there is, but does that matter? There is good stewardship, taking care of the things God has blessed us with, but then there is excess. Do I really need a better house? Nope. My house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and living room, a den, a school room, a garage, an eat in kitchen, and a large fenced in back yard. There are things about it that I don't like, and things about it that I need to improve, in order to be a good steward of what God has blessed us with. Is it Ok for be to want better, when God has given me enough?

I would like to think that if we came into a large sum of money, we would pay off our debt, put a little away, and give the rest away.
If God was to bless us in that way, I don't think He would be blessing on the fact that I am such a worthy person and deserve the best. If God blessed us in that way, I would like to think that its because He sees us as a faithful steward that is going to use the bounty of our blessing to further the Gospel for His glory and not our own.

"He who is faithful with little, is faithful with much."
How are we doing now with little?
How are we doing in deciphering our needs from our wants?
Am I doing what I can do to further the Gospel for Gods glory without money?
If it does not require money to reach out to those around me, then why don't I?
How do I take a burden I am feeling, and turn it into a practical outpouring of the Gospel at work?

Just some thoughts I've been thinking. What do you think about this subject?

Raising Discerning Kids in an Undiscerning World

This is what has been on my mind of late.
How do Stacy and I teach our children to be spiritually, morally, even on a level of basic common sense, discerning, in this world that is filled with "Me. Me. Me."?
At times I am overwhelmed with this task.
As a Mom that also homeschools, I am left with a huge responsibility towards my kids on many levels. I am 100% positive that this is where God wants our family right now, and I look forward to attacking this coming school year with a new fire and increased discipline in my own life.
However, the older my kids get, the heavier the weight is becoming for the directions I still need to steer them in.

I have always been a big proponent of the "First 5 years". I believe that those years are foundational to a childs grasp on many things. Obviously there are the basics, learn to walk, talk, eat with a spoon, etc... but there are the areas that prove more effort on the parents part, like discipline, spiritual introductions, manners, etc.
I enjoyed the first 5 years of my childrens lives. I enjoyed seeing them learn and understand and grow. Progress was easily measurable in many ways, and things were a little more cut and dry. More black and white if you will.

But now, we have what I will call "The next 5 years". My kids are 9 & 7 now, so I guess we are in the middle of childhood. I feel the weight of these 5 years differently than I did the first 5. I look around me and I see the forces trying to suck my kids in. I see the world marketing all it has to offer to my 9 & 7 year olds. I see the church (as a whole) trying to entertain my kids and lull them into a false sense of spirituality.
Basically, I see a lot of things being thrown at my kids, that they have to learn to discern whether it has merit and is favorable in God's eyes, or not. The lines of black and white are being sketched more into gray, with some shadows of blue, maybe a little green thrown into the mix, and some red for a "POP".

I have been convicted lately about personal discernment. First of all, am I discerning the world, (and this includes the church) and my response to it, through the lens of Scripture? Am I teaching my kids to do the same thing? How do I teach my kids to do this? How do I teach them to examine their hearts, to measure things by the Gospel?
I will be the first to admit, its not always easy. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes energy, it takes discipline. This area of discernment is not an issue you just visit once or twice and move on. It is constant. It is everywhere. It begins with me. Ouch. That hurts sometimes.

I have to be honest and say that sometimes I tell my kids "Just go watch TV.", and then I don't take the time to see what they are watching. I mean obviously I know they are watching Disney Channel or Nickolodean, but I don't know what show they are watching.
Wow, shame on me for letting Disney and Nick discern for my kids what is appropriate to watch. I was ashamed of myself when I saw that the show my 7 year old daughter was watching, showed a teenage girl in her teenage boys bedroom, alone and kissing. It was "harmless" by the worlds standards, but what about through Gods standards, and what should be my standards.
Tomorrow I will be going to the "Charter" office, and we are getting rid of our cable.
Extreme? Maybe. Necessary at this point in our lives. Yes.
But there's a kicker. I'm not just cancelling cable and leaving it at that. We will talk, at length I'm sure, about the "harmless" things we watch and about the standards that God has laid out for us.

Here's the thing though. I can cancel our cable and get rid of the Disney Channel, but that does not solve our problem. The problem with raising discerning kids in an undiscerning world has crept into the church. Our kids are being raised in a media savvy culture, and that hasn't been left in the church parking lot. I am NOT in anyway against technology, media, lights, the band, etc. I am not against these things in our church buildings. What I am against is the churchs competition to be as good or better, than the "world" in these things, without any discernment and clarity of the Gospel.
I don't believe that we need to sit on hard wooden pews, and have an all day hymn service, and wear our long skirts. But I wonder what we are teaching our children when they have to be entertained every single second they are on church property. Its a hard line. I work with kids enough to know that. I don't know the answer either. I'm a VBS director for crying out loud, and VBS is about FUN! I'm all for fun, without compromise.
"I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ." If I am not ashamed, then I don't need to compromise it either.
Do I think we compromise the Gospel with bright lights, and loud music, and engaging speakers?
Not necessarily. But I do think we can. And I think in many cases we do.

And this is where I start to feel the overwhelming responsibility as a Christian Mother, trying to raise discerning kids. In light of recent experiences and discussions with my 9 year old, I am newly reminded of my responsibility in helping him work through issues that the church has helped to confuse. I'm realizing more and more that this same child needs me to help him talk things out, and through these talks, he is learning to be a more discerning believer.
I can tell you that we still have a long way to go, but I am encouraged that God is working in his life to give him the desire to be a more discerning young believer. Whether he realizes thats what is going on or not.
But WOW! What a responsibility I have as a parent to discern for my kids so that they can learn to discern!
It kind of boggles the mind doesn't it?

I desperately want to raise Godly children. I am thankful for other parents God has placed in my life that want the same for their kids. I am thankful for Godly influences in my kids lives. People that are willing to invest themselves and live out the Gospel and further the kingdom of Christ in this young generation.
I pray that we all strive towards being discerning parents in an undiscerning world and that we might help our children do the same.

Stop Yelling at Me!

Alright, I am finally posting some recipes for you people so you'll stop making rude comments.
And you people know who you are Melissa Mohr, Megan Thompson, and Ashley Faulkner.

Anyways...here are 3 of my favorites. 2 dinner and 1 breakfast.

Taco Filled Jumbo Shells:
Ingredients:
2 pounds ground beef
2 envelopes taco seasoning
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, cubed
24 uncooked jumbo pasta shells
1/4 cup butter, melted
ADDITIONAL INGREDIENTS (for each casserole):
1 cup salsa
1 cup taco sauce
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1-1/2 cups crushed tortilla chips
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
3 green onions, chopped
Directions: In a Dutch oven, cook beef over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Add taco seasoning; prepare according to package directions. Add cream cheese; cook and stir for 5-10 minutes or until melted. Transfer to a bowl; chill for 1 hour. Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Gently toss with butter. Fill each shell with about 3 tablespoons of meat mixture. Place 12 shells in a freezer container. Cover and freeze for up to 3 months. To prepare remaining shells, spoon salsa into a greased 9-in. square baking dish. Top with stuffed shells and taco sauce. Cover and bake at 350° for 30 minutes. Uncover; sprinkle with cheeses and chips. Bake 15 minutes longer or until heated through. Serve with sour cream and onions. To use frozen shells: Thaw in the refrigerator for 24 hours (shells will be partially frozen). Spoon salsa into a greased 9-in. square baking dish; top with shells and taco sauce. Cover and bake at 350° for 40 minutes. Uncover and continue as above. Yield: 2 casseroles (6 servings each).

Alteration: I don't use taco sauce or salsa. I use enchilada sauce because my family likes it. I also don't always top it with anything but the sauce and the cheese just to make it cheaper.
I usually double this and make several pans to freeze to take to people cause it is GOOOD and everyone likes it!
If you want to save some calories, you don't have to toss the shells with butter.

Southwestern Chicken Pot Pie: (This is an invention and so I do not have completly accurate sizes)

1 pkg frozen deep dish pie shells
1 pkg roll out pie shells
2-3cups shredded or diced chicken
1 can ro-tel
1 can black beans (2 if you like)
2 cans cream of mushroom
1 can cream of chicken
1 cup shredded taco cheese
1 can of corn optional ( I would like to add corn, but my husband doesnt like corn mixed in things so I don't, but I think it would be good)
Also some fresh chopped cilantro would be a good addition

Mix all the ingredients except the pie shells. Pour into the frozen pie shells.
Top with the roll out pie shells and trim the edges and crimp. You will have leftover pie crust that you can make cute little cut out shapes with and place on top.
I usually wet my finger tips a bit to help them stick.
You could also lightly spray the top with non stick spray.
Use a knife to slit holes in the top of the pie in a criss cross shape.

This makes 2 pies.

Place on cookie sheet and bake for 30 minutes or until crust is golden.
You can freeze one pie and cook it straight from the freezer for about an hour. Leave the foil on for the first half if you do it this way.

Sausage Breakfast Casserole: (I like this one because you don't have to let it sit over night...but you can if you need to!)

1 pound bulk pork sausage
1/3 cup chopped onion
4 cups (16 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack or cheddar cheese
8 eggs, lightly beaten
1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
DIRECTIONS
In a large skillet, cook sausage and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Transfer to a greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking dish. Sprinkle with cheese. Combine eggs and soup; pour over cheese. Bake, uncovered, at 400° for 30-35 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean. Let stand for 5 minutes before cutting.

My Grandpa

I am very thankful for the time I got to spend in PA this past week with my Grandparents. Grandpa's health was kind of up and down while we where there. He started dialysis, which is designed to keep people alive for a while, but for him, I think it is just helping to make him more comfortable. He is on oxygen now, and my Mom is up there helping again this week. Please continue to pray for him, Nana, and Mom as they get a lot of loose ends tied up.

Here are some things I love about my Grandpa:
1. Even though he married my Nana when I was 2, he has always treated me as though I was his own. I tease my Nana that I am the reason he married her. Cause I was just so darn cute ;)

2. He makes funny noises out of the sides of his lips. Laura and Adam and I have always thought that was so funny. He sounds like a bird.


3. When I was in High School and College, whenever we got together we would always play golf. The greatest golf shot I ever made was with him and he bragged and bragged on it.

4. He always tells the same story of when I was a little little girl.
"Chris, Chris, lets go for a waaalk and see the do-ooog". He says it in his finest southern accent, and it is so cute!



5. He is a HUGE reader. I remember his collection of books from when I was a kid. Once when I was in JR.High or so, I got the book "War and Peace" off his shelf. It was HUGE! He told me I wasn't old enough to read that yet. I wonder if I can read it now?


6. Grandpa is extremly smart. He does cross word puzzles everyday and has a wealth of information stored in that brain of his.



7. He used to be a "Topographer". You know, the guy that makes "Topography Maps."
I have always been fascinated by maps, I wonder if thats why.



8. He is absolutly with out a doubt, over the top, in LOVE with my Nana. I can always remember that when he would enter a room from being gone some where the first thing he would do is give her a kiss. He always has a compliment for her. Always. He thinks she is the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth.
Even in the ER on Sunday, while he can barely stand on his own without his walker, he was helping her get HER jacket on. That is some serious love people.


9. He used to smoke a pipe and it was a wonderful smell.



10. He grew up in Virigina. His Mom died in childbirth while giving birth to him and his twin sister. They where raised by their dad and step mom, but their dad died when he was an early teen and the step mom was not very nice. So they moved to Sweden to be raised by their Aunt.
He was in the service and has great stories about those times too.
He has a really amazing past.



11. He has the most beautiful blue eyes.



12. His favorite dessert is Boston Cream Pie.



13. I will miss his warm smile when he is gone.

Saw it, Tried it, Like it!

I saw an idea on the cover of Southern Living Magazine the other day. I didn't have a chance to really look at it closely, so I have done my own variation. I thought it turned out really cute.

I used green construction paper and wax paper, because that is what I had. I am quite sure that SL used heavy green cardstock and velum, but hey, you use what you've got right?!
They had plain brownies, and I had made Rocky Road Fudge for a Christmas event at Church tonight. This is going to be fun to transport huh!!!

I think I will do it again next week for my ornament swap and make Creme De Menthe brownies, and get some cardstock and velum. But in the mean time....I am pleased.

The Weaving that is Me

20 hours of total car travel visiting various friends and relatives gives one lots of time to think and ponder on things.

My recent travels to NC have gotten me to thinking of the different people that have come into my life over my 33 years and have left their mark.

I grew up in Charlotte, NC, with the exception of being born in the north, and then a year we spent in VA. But most of my first 14 years was centered around Charlotte and the church I grew up in there. When I returned last week, I was able to see some of the ladies that "raised" me. It was a weird feeling to me to be sitting as a woman with the woman that played such an instrumental role in my first 14 years. For me growing up, there was a feeling of security and comfort knowing that all of these families where there for each other. We where gently corrected whenever we needed correcting, and we where loved on when needed loving on. We got together often for game nights and fellowship. If someone was going through a trying time, a meal was brought, or your kids where taken care of.

For those days and for those ladies, I am thankful. In those foundational years I learned a lot about serving one another and hospitality. The kind of hospitality that comes naturally out of a love for your fellow sister or brother in Christ, not out of obligation.

I am thankful for the people of my first 14 years that began to weave a foundation into my life.

When I was 14 my Dad got transferred to the Atlanta Georgia area. I was devastated! I can remember sitting on the kitchen floor pitching a grand ole teenage girl fit and begging to be able to stay in Charlotte.

But as I look back now, I see why God moved us. There are people in Atlanta Georgia that God knew needed to be in my life. I was a stupid teenager. I made foolish mistakes, didn't apply myself like I should have, and probably drove my parents crazy. But I can look back at my Youth Group and the various Youth leaders and Bible Study leaders that where in my life at that time and thank God for His Sovereignty. During this time was also when our family was introduced to Robbinsville, NC, and the people of the Snowbird Indian Community. This is the time that God was weaving in and out of me, a heart for others, for the Gospel, and for Missions.

I am thankful for the people during those teenage years of my life that lived out Godly lives before me when I was the silly Missy of High School. There are people that I think of often and am thankful for their gently guiding in those years.

When I was 18 I moved onto College in Orlando Fl. The next 5, yes 5, years where spent in a whirlwind of moving around with college moves, and transfers. Really my college years where unsettling. But I am thankful for the people that came in and out of my life during those 5 years. Some of my dearest friends where brought into my life in college. People that have weaved in and planted themselves firmly in my life. Some people have come and gone but have left their marks any ways. As crazy as going to 3 colleges is, it was a necessary part of my life because I learned much about life, doctrine, and myself, at all 3. Alot of weaving took place during those 5 years. They are almost as foundational as the beginning because I started to become who I am today. Plus I met my husband!!!

I have been in Alabama since January 1997. WOW! Almost 12 years. That is amazing to me. And again, I am thankful for the people that have come in and out of my life in that time. I became an adult in Alabama. I met my husband, I had my children. I've grown in my walk with God and my doctrinal understanding. I've gone to several churches that have all had their unique place in my life. I have settled into a church family for the past 4 years that have supported us when we needed supporting and always love us. I have sat with people that have made me laugh, and sat with people that have challenged me to be a better child of God.

I have also gained a separate body of believers as a family that I don't even go to church with, but that are special and necessary in my life regardless.

I am amazed as I look back on the past 33 years at all the people that God has used to weave me into the person I am today. I am even more amazed that if I live to be 99, I am only a 3rd of the way done. How many more people does God have in store for my life to make a difference.

I love that even though I can only see the little bits that are in front and behind me, God is seeing the big picture, He is seeing the beauty of it when sometimes all I see is the frayed edges.

I am thankful for you, because if you cared enough to read this then you are one of the people that God has used in my life. Some of you have been in my life for a really long time! Some of you are new to my life, and it's been a fun ride so far but we have a lot of life ahead of us.

Thank God that He is the weaver of my life and not me by myself. I sure would have made an awful mess!

Here I am!

I've had the blog funk. I don't know why really.

I have SOOOO much going on in this brain of mine that I am a little overwhelmed with it all.

I have much to say about my week away and all the happenings. Just haven't felt like saying it.

I did have a good time despite the stomach bug.

It's always good to be home though, and when I'm gone and come home I realize how much I love my cozy house.

I must go take the kids to art class now. Maybe later I'll blog again.

Still Around

The stomach bug that is.
Logan came down with it today after us being bug free since Monday night.
Weird huh?

I have some observations to make:

1. It takes me longer to bounce back from things than kids.

2. Lana likes to be left alone when sick.

3. Logan likes to cuddle when sick.

4. Lana is tough when she throws up.

5. Logan is embaressed when he throws up.

6. Germs hide and then pounce on you when you least expect it.

7. Grandparents are good to have around when a grandchild is sick.

8. You cannot watch enough of "The Munsters" when sick.

9. I'm ready to be done with this.

Seriously???

Well, I am supposed to be sitting snug as a bug at my friend Stace's house in North Carolina about now.
Instead I am sitting at the computer at my house blogging.
I'm doing good...this is the furthest I've gotten away from my bed all day.
Yes folks, the HATED stomach bug made its ugly appreance AGAIN at 3:00 am this morning.
The last stomach bug was more of a painful cramping event...this one does not allow me to hold anything in.

So here I sit, instead of in NC, I am still in AL. Hoping to go to NC in the morning, but at the moment my stomach is saying that may not be the case.
Lana Lou told me right before bed that her belly hurts. Hopefully this is just a made up woe for attention and not the real thing.

This stomach bug has opened my eyes to the fact that I need to take better care of my immune system. I have always been prone to getting everything that goes around. It must stop. I will have to start eating more super foods. Although Kim Hill is the super food queen and she has walking pneumonia. So maybe I will eat super foods and eat lots of Vitamin C.

Must go back to my bed now.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be in the great state of NC.

Heaven or Something Like It

Lately I've been thinking about Heaven.
It's really not something I think about as much as I marvel, long for, and anticipate.
Thinking would involve some sort of understanding, and Heaven is so far beyond the concrete thinking of my brain. What I know about Heaven is that anything my brain could conjure up would be a very poor misrepresentation of it.
How can I process in my earthly human brain that in Heaven we will worship God forever.
I come away from a hour and a half Church service completely overwhelmed at God's Holiness and Grace. How could I even process eternity of that, an eternity with the Vail lifted and God's full glory revealed.
What will it be like to hear hosts of Saints and Angels singing Holy, Holy, Holy?
I get choked up when I hear 200 sinful people in a man made Church building.

The world is fascinated by the thought of Heaven.
Stacy and I where watching part of an old Robin Williams movie yesterday, "What Dreams May Come". The movie "5 People You Meet in Heaven" comes on the Hallmark Channel all the time.
These movies, and most of the world around us think that Heaven is this place of our own choosing. Our minds make Heaven whatever we want it to be. We can run through oil paintings with our old childhood dog, or meet up with our High School English teacher and talk for hours about the good old days. In a humanistic Heaven, it's all about ME!
Seriously, why would I want it to be about me. I haven't done things right here on earth. What makes me think that in a Heaven that my brain comes up with, it's going to be any better?
Everything I do here on earth is tainted with sin. It is God's gift of Salvation and the promise of eternity with Him in a Heavenly body where I will sing with the Chorus of Angels Holy, Holy, Holy, that gives me Hope and makes me long for Heaven.
Why O why would I long for something that I'm just going to make up when I get there, that comes from a very finite brain such as mine?
I can't plan for the end of the week let alone eternity. I can't imagine anything more beautiful than things that I have already seen.
In this life of uncertainty, I look forward to the day, as the old hymn says...
"When we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be. When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory."

What a Difference a Year Makes

One year ago, on Sept 21st, my husband and I were confronted with one of our most trying and difficult marital crisis.

This year on Sept 21st our son was baptised and made public his decision to follow the Lord.

One year ago, on Sept 22nd, I spent hours on the phone with a friend balling my eyes out, hurt, confused, and wondering what in the world was going on.

This year on Sept 22nd my husband called me from work to let me know he had recieved an unexpected promotion.

One year ago on this day, Sept 23rd, I spent the day at Oak Mountain, by myself with the Lord. I blogged about that day here. I found hope and comfort in God's word and and His Soveriegn Grace.

This year on Sept 23rd, I stand amazed at the difference a year makes. The difference in my marriage, the difference in my place in life, the difference in my walk with God, the difference in my understanding of God's provision, His tender mercies, His healing, His presence, and the way He leads His people.

Things could all fall apart tomorrow, but now I know what a difference a year makes.
Now I have tasted and seen that the Lord He is good...He was good in our darkest hour, and He is good, a year later, in our days of joy.
I am overwhelmed.
I am happy.
I am humbled.

Burdens

It's been kind of a strange couple of days.
I have been running a fever off and on and have felt over all poopy.
I finally went to the Doc today, got a shot and a zpack, and will hopefully be feeling better soon.

On my way to the Dr, my Dad called to tell me he was at the ER with Mom.
While I was at the Dr, Laura called me to ask me about Kidney stones ( Stacy has had them before) because Travis seems to be having one.

Long story short, Mom has Plurosy and has been given lots of meds and sent to rest for a few days. Which hopefully she will. REST MOM! If you know her, this is a difficult task for her to do. So I am relieved that she is going to be OK.
Travis will probablly go to the hospital in the morning ( it was 10:30 at night over there when I talked to La), so pray for him. I have seen Stacy go through kidney stones twice, and I know it is NO fun!

Well all this to say...I was just starting to think that our family is falling apart, when I got home and had an email that my new friend Crystal, who is our new childrens ministers wife and is only 23, her Dad died last night. WOW! That really puts some perspective on things now doesn't it?
My heart breaks for her...she is 23 years old and has lost her dad. How devistating! She is a wonderfuly sweet, Godly woman and I ask that you pray for her and her family. I know that her Dad has struggled with a brain tumor for a while and I am pretty sure she has said that he is a Christian. But wow...it makes sinus infections, and plurosy, and kidney stones, seem easy doesn't it?

I am reminded that the sufferings of this life are meant to draw us closer to the throne of God and see His glory in all circumstances.

"By affliction He teaches us many precious lessons, which, without it we
should never learn.
By affliction He shows our emptiness and weakness, draws us to the throne
of grace, purifies our affections, weans us from the world, makes us long for
heaven. In the ressurection morning we shall all say, "It is good for me
that I was afflicted." We shall thank God for every storm."
-J.C. Ryle

Some days are Diamonds...

Somedays, well are just plain hard.

Today was a traumatic day for my daughter and I.
It appears that PMS starts in girls very early, and from the time she woke up, Lana was an emotional mess.
If you know my child, you know that she is normally a happy, sweet child.
Today however she cried on several different occasions at the drop of a hat.
And I don't mean just a little tear. I mean big time sobs.
The last big cry, was a warranted cry however.

As you all know, she has recently had a room makeover. Which of course included a new bedspread.
She has also been told not to draw, color, etc...while sitting on the bed.
Well apparently yesterday she decided to use some markers, while sitting on her bedspread.
They soaked through. She tried to hide it...

Until today!!!
I saw it. I simply looked at her and she broke out into trembling sobs.
All I could say was "Sit on your bed".
Long story short, I sprayed the thing like crazy, soaked it, and then sat at the computer for 20 minutes playing a game so I could gain some composure.
Poor Logan came down and said "Mom, I think Lana is having a baby or something...she's screaming like crazy."

I then "dealt" with her, and then made her take a 2 hour nap so she could regain some emotional stability. After that, she has been back to her happy normal joyful self.
Her Daddy even took her out to Starbucks tonight. ( already a planned deal...in no way a reward for deceitful and crazy behaviour).

Somedays I would just prefer not to be a Mom. It would be so much easier to not deal with disciplining. This is not the first time that Lana and I have had bedspread issues. When she was 3 and got her new bedspread for her first big girl bed, she painted her nails on it...nail polish comes out of nothing!
I am sure that there is a lesson for me in all of this. I am sure that God is not concerned with Lana's bedspread, but rather how I deal with her in her disobedience.
It is very hard to discipline a little girl that is doing the whole "I-I-I-a-a-am so o ory that i i i d i id that."

I realize more and more how important it is to deal with the heart issues with my kids. The issue was not that she got marker on her bedspread...the issue was that she willfully disobeyed and then set out to deceive. That is the issue of the heart that we have to deal with.
This is where I have to point her to the Gospel and say...
"Our hearts are deceitful and wicked, BUT GOD before he layed the foundations of the earth, new that, and provided a Saviour so that we don't have to live in the trap of deceitful and wicked behaviour. God has given us a way out through His Son Jesus."
This is were she has an opportunity to respond. Recognize her sin, confess it, and accept God's grace, or not recognize it and repeat the same behaviors.

Somedays I hate being a Mom, but when at the end of that day I realize that God has given me the opportunity to show my kids the Gospel, I can do nothing but raise my head in awe, and look forward to the opportunities of tomorrow.

Oh, and in case you are wondering, I did get almost all of the marker out.

Perception, Perspective, and a Good ole Dose of Reality

1. I perceived that not working was going to be the cure to all of my problems.
My perspective was that my working was getting in the way of effectively running my household.
The reality is that after two weeks, I see that I was mostly right about part of it. I mean it hasn't solved all of my problems, but...
I am thoroughly enjoying being a full time stay at home, homeschooling Mom.
It was nice for us to have a lazy Monday this week after a very busy weekend.
It's been nice easing into the week and not feeling like I've got to get everything done before Wednesday.

2. I have some perception issues with the whole homeschooling thing. I think that people see us as raving lunatics that are sheltering our children from "the world".
But my perspective has to stay focused on why we are doing this.
Our reality is that at this point in our lives, God has called us to homeschool. I have to keep in mind that homeschooling is not just about some hours that we sit in a room and do school work, but it's about a lifestyle that is engaged in learning. That learning may be book learning one part of the day, and basic home EC and responsibility the rest of the day. Our whole way of life revolves around the fact that there are many things that my kids need to learn, not just about books, but about a functioning home, and mainly about the Gospel. The scary reality is, it is my responsibility to guide them in all of these areas.

3. Have you ever perceived a person to be a certain way, and then when they don't turn out that way it is a bit of a surprise?
I have had a lot of conflict going on in my brain this week in regards to this.
I have really had to get over my perceptions of how it should have been, and gain some perspective on my response to those that are teaching or leading us.
The reality is I must view people and what they say and teach, through the lens of the Gospel. If I don't, I become a passive thinker and a mediocre student of God's word.
The reality is that there are a lot of people teaching a lot of things. There are a lot of ways to ignore the Gospel when what we are hearing tickles our ears and makes God fit into our way of living. If my way of thinking is that Jesus is with me to make everything in my life work out hunky-dory, then all I am doing is putting God in a box that I can put in my pocket and point to as a reference of the way I am living. "See, look, I am doing just fine with Jesus in my pocket!"
It becomes all about me at that point, and not who God is.

But if my way of thinking is that God is with me, so that I can glorify Him with everything I am, only having that ability through Him, then there is no room for a box. As a matter of fact all there is room for is God. When my ears are listening through the words of the Gospel, I can see that it is not about me. It's about God that has poured out His love on a sinful sinful person, in order to bring Glory to Himself. It's not to see how good of a person I can be. It's so God's glory can be revealed and as a result my actions and the outpouring of my life, show His glory to others.

4. It is noon time. Which most would perceive as being a good lunch hour.
But from my perspective we had breakfast at 10:00.
So the reality is that we won't be having lunch until later!

A Great Big Thank You!

Well you have all just made me feel like a million bucks today!
First thank you to my sweet husband for "Hacking" into my blog.
Wow what a slooth he is. A computer genious!
I am very lucky to have such a caring guy by my side.
And thanks to all of you. Your words where all so kind and meant a lot to me.
I have really been overwhelmed today with feeling so blessed.
As much as I whine and complain, I know that God has given me so much to be thankful for.
I wish I saw that more often!

Thanks also to those of you that sent me ecards. I love ecards! They make me smile and laugh.
I even got a Cato gift card that I already used because I have to. Gift cards burn holes in my purse. Seriously they do. I can't walk around with holes in my purse now can I?

Thanks again blogging buddies. You've made my day a happy one!

What I wanted to do

Today is my sisters 31st birthday.

What I wanted to do was put together a musical montage of pictures with catchy quotes.

But since I lack the emotional fortitude to put on such a display at this time, I will try to briefly put into words what she means to me.

It is probably impossible to do even that, because if I start I will bawl my eyes out, and then feel sorry for myself for how much I miss her right now. Then she will read this, and she will bawl her eyes out, and then her husband might take away her Internet privileges because he can't stand to see her cry, and then she won't feed her children for days because she has spiraled into a deep sadness because she misses me too.

So really you see, I must protect her and her husband and children by not making a gushy musical montage with catchy quotes filled with emotional fortitude.

If you have a sister, I'm sure you can understand how I feel when our birthdays come and go and we are not able to sit and chat about the past year over a cup of Chic-fil-a tea or a Mocha Frappacino.

If you don't have a sister, I'm sure you understand the loneliness when one of your greatest friends and people that knows you the best is gone for a long period of time and you can't sit on a swing and giggle like little girls.

Really that's all I can say right now...I am way to emotionally unstable and on the point of a breakdown if I go any further.

Happy Birthday La, I love you and miss you very much!!!