My Mother has made mention of the fact that I hate mayonnaise.
If you know me, then this should not be a shock to you.
But seriously people, don't act like it is so absurd to abhor mayo.
I mean, who came up with mixing eggs and vinegar and whatever else you put into it, to make up this creamy substance that Paula Dean thinks is the reason food exists!
I seriously am gagging right now even thinking about it. Arg, barf, ack ack ack.
You must understand my friends, where this hatred began.
Imagine with me...
I was 13 years old and in Pennsylvania visiting my grandparents.
We had just finished a nice lunch of Tuna Fish sandwiches, of course made with mayo, guzzled down with a nice cool can of Grape Soda.
Upon throwing our trash in the "trash can" and our scraps in a "separate" pale (that is what you did at Nana's house), we hopped in the station wagon to go for a drive to another town...another town far far away.
So here I sit, in the "way back" as we called it...the 3rd row seat if you will that faced backwards.
I'm not sure whose brilliant idea it was to put me, the motion sick child, back there, but there I was nevertheless.
The drive to another town was windy and curvy and far away.
It was bound to happen, and it did.
I got so incredibly car sick!
There was no warning, no time to pull over, no time to grab a bag...I just threw up, in the back of the station wagon, facing backwards, having just eaten a tuna fish sandwich and grape soda.
The nearest town was still miles away and so I had to just sit and stew in my thrown up tuna salad and keep that wretched taste in my mouth until we could find a gas station to stop at.
Now please, any sane person that reads my blog...could you, really, ever, even consider, putting tuna fish or mayo in your mouth ever again? Seriously...I am gagging. I need a Mountain Dew right now just to get over this. Grape soda? Nope. Never again.
I mean even on a good day, have you ever smelled tuna fish and mayo and thought
"Wow, that is the best smelling stuff in the world"...Heck no!
Cats eat tuna for crying out loud! Why would it smell good.
Now imagine yourself covered in the stuff, smelling it and tasting it again and again.
So please my friends...stop judging my hatred of mayo and tuna for that matter, and sympathize with the fact that still do this day, 20 years later, the horrible after taste of thrown up mayo, tuna, and grape soda, lives not to far back in the tiniest of my taste buds.
Even seeing the jar of mayo or a can of tuna sends that tiny taste bud into a gagging fit.
Have pity upon me!!!!
Oh, and make your chicken salad, egg salad, and the like with cream cheese or sour cream.
I promise, you will never want to go back to whipped up eggs and vinegar ever again!